Beneath the Behavior: Supporting Neurodivergent Kids With Science, Not Shame
Beneath the Behavior is a podcast for parents of neurodivergent kids who want understanding instead of blame.
Hosted by pediatric psychologist Dr. Mark Bowers, each episode explores what’s really going on beneath a child’s behavior—from a brain and nervous system perspective—so parents can respond with more clarity and less self-doubt.
This podcast isn’t about quick fixes or perfect parenting. It’s about slowing things down, making sense of hard moments, and supporting neurodivergent kids with science, not shame.
Episodes are short, focused, and grounded in real clinical experience. If parenting feels harder than it should, you’re not alone—and you’re in the right place.
Episodes
30 episodes
Now What? Autism and Friendships: What to Do When Your Child Wants Friends
What should parents do when their autistic child wants friends but keeps feeling left out, misunderstood, rejected, or exhausted by social life?In this episode of Beneath the Behavior, Dr. Mark Bowers continues the “Now What?” s...
Now What? Late Autism Diagnosis: What Parents Need to Know Next
A later autism diagnosis can bring relief, grief, guilt, confusion, and clarity all at once. In this episode of Beneath the Behavior, Dr. Mark Bowers continues the “Now What?” series by helping parents understand what often happen...
Now What? Autism, IEPs, and 504 Plans: A Parent’s Guide to School Support
After an autism diagnosis, one of the biggest questions parents face is: what do we do about school now?In this episode of Beneath the Behavior, Dr. Mark Bowers helps parents understand why school can be so overwhelming for auti...
Autism Diagnosis, Now What?: ABA Therapy After an Autism Diagnosis: Red Flags, Green Flags, and Parent Questions
After an autism diagnosis, many parents are quickly told to consider ABA therapy, but deciding what’s right for your child can feel overwhelming, confusing, and emotionally loaded.In this episode of Beneath the Behavior, Dr. Mar...
Autism Diagnosis, Now What?: What to Do When Your Autistic Child Melts Down, Shuts Down, or Gets Overwhelmed
Autism and regulation can be one of the most confusing parts of parenting after an autism diagnosis. Why does your child melt down over transitions, shut down before school, fall apart after holding it together all day, or react intensely to se...
Autism Diagnosis, Now What?: Autism Communication Strategies That Actually Work
If your autistic child isn’t communicating clearly yet, where do you actually start?In this episode, pediatric psychologist Dr. Mark Bowers breaks down what to do first when autism and communication challenges show up after a diagnosis. ...
Autism (ASD) Diagnosis, Now What?: First Steps Every Parent Needs
Autism diagnosis—now what do you actually do first? Skip the overwhelm and start with what truly matters for your child. In this Introductory first episode of this Beneath the Behavior miniseries: Now What? Next Steps...
OCD in Kids: Intrusive Thoughts, Compulsions, and the Treatment That Works
OCD in children and teens is widely misunderstood.Obsessive–compulsive disorder is not about liking things clean or organized. It’s a cycle of intrusive thoughts, anxiety, and compulsive behaviors that can quietly take over...
How Nonverbal Autistic Children Communicate (AAC, Echolalia, and Language Development)
In this episode, pediatric psychologist Dr. Mark Bowers explores the inner world of nonverbal autistic children and the communication systems many parents and educators overlook.Many parents quietly ask difficult questions:...
Why Neurodivergent Kids Fight Bedtime: Anxiety, Night Wakings & Self-Soothing Explained
Bedtime shouldn’t feel like a nightly battle. But for many parents of ADHD and autistic children, it does.If your child fights sleep, wakes in the middle of the night, can’t self-soothe, needs you present, or seems wired at bedtime, this...
Morning Routines That Actually Work for ADHD and Autistic Kids
Morning routines with neurodivergent kids can feel impossible.If your child melts down over socks, refuses breakfast, freezes at the door, or panics about school, it’s usually not about behavior or discipline.It’s about nervous sy...
Executive Function at Home: Why “Knowing Better” Doesn’t Mean “Doing Better”
Your child knows what to do.So why can’t they just do it?If you’re parenting a child who forgets homework, melts down during transitions, procrastinates for hours, or shuts down when tasks feel overwhelming — this episode is for y...
PDA: When Demands Feel Like Threats — And Why the Internet Is Moving Faster Than the Science
Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) is everywhere online right now.Parents are exhausted. Kids are melting down. Social media says, “That’s PDA.”But what if the conversation is moving faster than the science?In this grounde...
The Hidden Mental Load Neurodivergent Kids Carry All Day (And Why Evenings Fall Apart)
Why does your child “hold it together” all day at school — only to fall apart at home?Why do small things explode at 4:30 p.m.?Why do behavior charts stop working by evening?In this episode, Dr. Mark Bowers breaks down the ...
What I Wish Parents Knew at the Beginning: A Nervous System Lens on Neurodivergent Parenting
If I could sit down with every parent at the very beginning of this journey, this is what I would say.Before the evaluations.Before the school meetings.Before the behavior charts.Before the late-night Googling.In this ...
When Anxiety Makes Separation Feel Impossible: Helping Neurodivergent Kids Untangle Fear from Safety
What happens when your child’s anxiety becomes so intense that being apart feels impossible?In this episode, Dr. Mark Bowers explores what’s really happening when neurodivergent children begin treating their parent as their primary safet...
Letting Go of the Parent You Thought You’d Be
Most parents expect parenting to get easier with time.You imagine growing confidence. Finding your rhythm. Trusting that love, patience, and consistency will lead to steady progress.But when you’re raising a neurodivergent child, ...
Low Demand Parenting: When It Helps, When It Hurts, and How to Use It Without Getting Stuck
Low demand parenting can feel like oxygen when your child is overwhelmed. The house gets quieter. Meltdowns ease. Everyone can finally breathe.But what happens when that relief starts turning into avoidance, shrinking routines, or fear o...
When Anxiety Looks Like Defiance: How fear hides inside behavior
Some kids don’t look anxious.They look defiant.They argue, refuse, avoid, shut down, or explode — and parents are often told the problem is oppositional behavior, weak boundaries, or a need for stronger consequences.In this ep...
When Kids Hold It Together at School and Fall Apart at Home: Masking, safety, and what the nervous system is really doing
Your child makes it through the school day without major issues…Then comes home and completely unravels.The meltdowns, rage, shutdowns, or refusals can leave you wondering why everything falls apart with you when teachers say, “They ...
Understanding Co-Regulation for Neurodivergent Kids
Co-regulation is one of those parenting terms that gets repeated often—but rarely explained in a way that actually helps in real moments.If you’ve ever stayed calm during your child’s meltdown and wondered why it didn’t seem to help, or ...
Why Transitions Are So Hard for Neurodivergent Kids
Transitions can turn everyday moments into major struggles for neurodivergent kids—and for the adults trying to support them.If your child melts down when it’s time to turn off screens, leave the playground, start homework, get in the ca...
Why “Good Parenting Advice” Fails Neurodivergent Kids
“We’ve tried everything, and nothing sticks.”If that thought feels familiar, this episode is for you.In this episode, pediatric psychologist Dr. Mark Bowers explains why so much mainstream parenting advice fails neurodivergent kid...
All Behavior Is Communication
Meltdowns. Refusal. Shutdowns.If you’re parenting a neurodivergent child, these moments can feel confusing, exhausting, and deeply personal.In this episode, pediatric psychologist Dr. Mark Bowers teaches one foundational reframe that...
Kids Will Do Well When They Can: Rethinking “Defiant” Behavior
If you’ve ever wondered whether your child is being defiant — or felt guilty about how you’ve responded — this episode is for you.Many parents of neurodivergent kids are told (directly or indirectly) that their child won’t